Seeing it through another's eyes

May 8, 2015

I was the web guy for a newspaper for more than six years. It was my first professional job out of college, and I learned a lot about the web and a lot about people.

One of my clearest examples of conflict came one day when I noticed one of my coworkers approach the big boss and ask what was wrong with the website. I don't remember the particulars, but I believe some type of error had the site out of sorts momentarily.

This made my blood boil instantly. I felt like my coworker was throwing me under the bus, asking the big boss a question that she could not have answered, but I could have.

I approached the coworker a few minutes later. I was a little hostile, and had a lot of negative energy. I asked him why he would ask the big boss that kind of question when that's clearly my job?

He didn't return any of my negative energy. He just stated his case plainly. He wasn't trying to do me any harm, he just thought she might have an answer.

I believed him 100%. And then I looked within myself and realized I had overreacted. I didn't see it from his perspective.

I learned a life lesson that day that has stuck with me forever since. Don't return people's negative energy. Let them burn themselves out. Be a calming force. There's nothing worth getting all worked up about.

I also learned that people aren't trying to screw you over. They don't have any Machiavellian plans. They're just getting through the day the best they can. See things through their eyes. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

I approached my coworker again later that day and thanked him for the lesson.